Trevor Laffan: You don’t want to use capital letters? Oh, do grow up, Gen Z

Eoin English, journalist of some repute with the Irish Examiner, once described his occupation as follows: “There are many words in the English language, and I am paid to put them in order.”

That may not be word perfect, but it’s the gist of it.

I’ve known Eoin for many years, and it was he who taught me to put words in order and, without him, I probably wouldn’t be writing these weekly columns.

I can hear you now silently cursing Eoin for doing that, but it’s not all his fault. Maurice Gubbins, another old friend of mine, and former Editor of The Echo, also had a hand in it, but that’s another story.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and I take a certain amount of pride in using the correct grammar and punctuation.

When I send a text message or an email, I like to do it correctly. I always read it back before hitting the send button to make sure it’s OK.

It doesn’t take a huge effort, and it shows a little respect for the recipient too.

I appreciate not everyone can do that, and there are various medical conditions that make it impossible for many to structure a sentence. Dyslexia, dyspraxia, and poor eyesight to name but a few - and that’s fine. I don’t have an issue with that.

What I do have an issue with though, is how some people are deliberately going out of their way to butcher the English language.

I’m thinking in particular of the Generation Z, or Gen-Zers as they’re referred to - those born between 1997 and 2012.

They have an issue with the written word as we know it. It’s upsetting them. They even find some punctuation marks offensive, so they don’t bother using them.

They want to abandon the more formal use of language and return us to a system more in line with hieroglyphics as practiced by the ancient Egyptians.

Some have claimed that using a full stop in text messages and online messages can be interpreted as being offensive or annoying. It’s upsetting their sensitive nature.

For these people, adding a full stop to a message does not just mean the end of a sentence. They will often read that inoffensive little dot as a falling intonation, which could be interpreted as the sender being antagonistic or ive aggressive.

Did you ever hear such nonsense in all your life?

I recently read about a column this very subject, when the writer explained why she doesn’t bother using capital letters in her texts.

“honestly, i can’t the last time I wrote something with a pen and paper. Why would I need to know how to structure anything when I can get chat-gpt to write any email I’ll ever need to send?” she said.

“It can sort out those minor details of punctuation and grammar in my essays for college. It can summarise novels for me as well, so no need to worry about reading either.

“Really, what’s not to love? Surely this is what ubiquitous technology tends towards. Why would I say no to the resources i have at my disposal?”

(I inserted my own capital letters to her words).

Thankfully, Gen-Zers didn’t occupy Mesopotamia back in the day or we would still be baking messages in mud pies.

As far as I’m concerned, these kids are distorting the English language out of pure laziness because, in truth, it’s just as easy to write a message correctly as it is to hack it to pieces.

That writer itted that she was “nearly crucified by certain readers” for a column she wrote about how Gen Z doesn’t tend to use punctuation in its texts.

She correctly suggested that she had probably raised the blood pressure of some over 30s.

She also managed to achieve that in some of the over 60s, which is much riskier.

Many of us at that age take medication to regulate our blood pressure and reading this type of nonsense immediately requires a higher dosage!

“I can feel it already,” she wrote, “the eyes rolling, the existential dread for future generations. The world will be doomed if this lot can’t get off their arse and use a capital letter.”

Well, as far as I’m concerned, they definitely need to get off their collective arses. They can’t remain childish all their lives.

I read an ission recently from one Gen-Zer, that came as no surprise. It stated that only one in 10 of that age group wants to work from the office full-time.

They’re less likely to have ever worked beyond their contractual hours, less likely to have looked at work emails out of hours, and are more likely to be 10 minutes late.

They take more sick days, demand full lunch breaks, and don’t want to do any work during those lunch breaks.

As a result, some employers have taken a stand against their antics.

An advertising executive in the UK told the Sunday Times that he has given up employing the young because it’s too much effort.

“My last PA sued us for wrongful dismissal after she’d claimed several grandparents’ deaths in a year and cited two dogs dying as reasons not to come into the office.”

“When we eventually rumbled her, she blamed her ADHD drugs for causing her forgetfulness and erratic hours, and her social anxiety for needing to work from home.”

“The company eventually paid her off after she claimed she was being bullied,” he said.

Gen-Zers are getting a reputation for being awkward to deal with and they have only themselves to blame.

They like to be different. They want to make up their own rules for working, while trying to invent a new way of using the written word too.

We shouldn’t indulge these people any longer. It’s time they grew up.