Cork Views: My salute to the real housewives of bygone Ireland

This week’s RTÉ documentary Housewife Of The Year castigated a show hosted each year by Gay Byrne through the 1980s and early 1990s.

“A Handmaid’s Tale type ritual that left women in little doubt where they stood in post- de Valera Ireland,” said one commentator, adding that the film is “a reminder that Ireland was no country for women of any age, and Housewife Of The Year let them know that”.

That is not my memory of Ireland of the ’70s and ’80s. I a world where women predominantly stayed at home to tend to the full-time job of cooking, cleaning, mending, repairing, playing, ing, lending a listening ear, cajoling, educating and minding their families. Up one side of the street and down the other. So that neighbourhoods were teeming with kids, in and out of each other’s houses, while husbands left them to it – secure in the knowledge they were being well looked after, both kids and mothers were often very happy at home.

Irish housewives were climate champions, mentors, and psychologists rolled into one.

Instead of castigating them and comparing them to characters of a dystopian future, we should celebrate what they created – glorious, secure and fun-filled childhoods that are largely gone.

Ciaran Cassidy’s documentary takes a more jaundiced look at what it was to be a housewife in decades gone by- selecting previous winners that told of a less rosy picture of life at home.

Anne McStay recalls having 13 children by 31 and a husband who sought refuge in the pub. Ena Howell, whose mother gave birth to her in Bessborough House and Baby Home, was advised by her adoptive family not to have any with her birth mother. “They couldn’t accept that their perfect family wasn’t perfect any more.”

The documentary allows these stories to outweigh positive ones from that era. “I loved being a housewife,” said another winner, Patricia Connolly. “It never entered my head to go out to work.”

Meanwhile, a recent report from the Health Promotion Research Centre at University Of Galway outlined the grim reality that exists for many children and young teens today. Over half the teenage girls surveyed said they felt low every week or more frequently in the last six months. Over a third of boys said the same, which means almost half of teenagers are struggling with their mental health.

Co-principal investigator at the Health Promotion Research Centre, Professor Saoirse Nic Gabhann, said fears about the environment and housing were among issues cited.

It is not surprising teens are worried about the environment. The first-ever National Climate Change Risk Assessment warns Ireland is unprepared to cope with the changes already taking place and that are projected to worsen greatly by mid-century and beyond.

The first climate champions, long before the term was invented, were housewives. Many mothers at home spent long hours in the back garden, growing fruit and veg and tending areas to allow bees and insects do their work.

Meals were prepared with frugality using whole foods – meat, vegetables, potatoes, homemade breads and scones and apple pies.

Clothes were mended. Hems were let up and taken down as they were ed along the line. Nobody had or thought they needed the latest gear or designer shoes. Kids came home from school together on the bus and landed to a cooked meal before running out on the street to play down the road or in the park.

Holidays involved kids piling into a car with buckets, spades and spare sheets to a caravan park or rented house by the sea. If it rained, card games and board games saved the day.

None of this happens anymore. Mothers and fathers work all day. Kids are in after-school or come home to a predominantly silent neighbourhood or empty street. Afternoons and evenings are spent on the couch or in bedrooms – often on phones. Whereas before, mothers were around, cooking the evening meal, sorting washing and ironing – all the while overseeing homework, keeping an eye on anxious looks or low moods.

Mothers were there for each other too. They organised coffee mornings, chatted over the wall, met in the supermarket or butcher and offloaded their kids onto each other when they needed a break or a visit to the hairdresser.

They were there for the community as well, taking part in voluntary activities and helping out in school or local clubs. They looked after the vulnerable - grandparents often moved into the family home after they were widowed or became frail. That’s just not possible anymore in today’s world. That intergenerational mix was good for everybody.

Now, many of us ignore the dangers of allowing kids free use of smartphones, giving ready access to porn and constant vulnerability to criticism from other immature minds. We feed our kids food that has poor nutritional value, and far too many ultra-processed snacks.

We save money to bring them on expensive holidays across the world as greenhouse emissions spiral, give in to their demands for designer shoes, bags and clothes, or provide the finance for the latest throwaway clothes for the next disco or teenage party.

The ’70s and ’80s weren’t perfect. Many mothers longed to escape the drudgery of life at home with no money of their own and days that revolved around the kids. But many more loved being around with their young families and their older relatives. Not having the stress of work. Being creative on a shoestring with cooked meals and family outings. Being there – to listen, to cajole, to and to mind.

Rather than castigate a world where most mothers looked after their families at home, why not recognise the value that environment created for young kids across the country?

Imagine if mothers were ed to be able to stay at home and mind their kids at home, if they chose to do so. The savings in of the physical and mental wellbeing of the next generation would be monumental.

I recall my childhood with a golden haze of nostalgia. In today’s world, here are the three steps I would recommend for wellbeing.

Ban social media for under 16s.

Commit to active travel to make towns and cities safe for kids to cycle and walk across without any concerns for their safety.

Offer mothers the financial wherewithal to be able to stay at home with their families if they so choose.

Let’s ditch the notion of stay-at-home mums as somehow dystopian and recognise the huge value they offer to the whole community.