Time to get real, lads - gender stereotypes need to change!

IN 2019 – not, like way back in 1419 or anything - a small town issued a brochure. The town authorities deemed this document to be so important that it had it printed in three different languages. Ingushetia, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure, is a very small Russian republic, home to the indigenous Ingush, with, as of 2021, a population of just over half a million. The “brochure” began to be issued in the town of Magas by the local authorities in August of 2019. Magas is Ingushetia’s Capital Town. (Apparently Magas is not big enough to be called a Capital City). The plan was to distribute this new brochure, in English, Russian and Ingushetian, to all schoolchildren once the new academic year started on September 1. The main point of this initiative was to order Ingush females “to women’s honorable place in Ingush society” - by, to put it simply, every woman of any age deferring to every man of any age. The Magas Directive as we’ll call it, brought a whole new meaning to the famous Loretta Lynn song Stand by Your Man. It orders all women “to stand up in the presence of men, showing respect no matter how old they are.

“Even a grown-up woman stands up in public and shows respect to a teenage boy,” explained the Mayor of Magas, one Mr Beslan Tsechoyev. Mr T claimed the rules had been drawn up “in consultation with local elders and experts in Ingush traditions.” Mr T did not clarify how many of these “local elders and “experts in Ingush traditions” were female.

A photograph accompanying one of the articles about the brochure showed two young, very beautiful women in very long stuffy traditional robes and capacious head coverings, standing straight as ramrod, alongside a couple of seated males clad, of course, in comfortable western attire.

Human rights groups have warned for years that the rights of women are being violated in the North Caucasus, which is where Magas is, but Mayor Tsechoyev denied the Directive is in any way discriminatory towards women.

Ingush women are internationally renowned as being among the most stunningly beautiful women on the planet, but according to the Magas Directive, their beauty lies only “in shyness, politeness, a calm tone and keeping a distance from strangers.” Women cannot shout and laugh loudly in public or wear any sort of tight clothing.

Local authorities shrugged off international criticism of this crazy oppression, arguing that local traditions are often at odds with Western values. 

But that’s not all. In Ingushetia it’s actually “shameful” to be a divorced woman - and the husband automatically gets custody. It is also neither acceptable nor customary to report domestic violence. Family and clan discourage victims of domestic violence from going to the police, claiming the woman is inventing the abuse, or that her own behaviour is to blame.

So aren’t we the lucky duckers to be in the EU and not have to languish in Ingushetia, or any part of the North Caucasus. Except that a new report shows things aren’t all rosy in the garden here either. We haven’t yet gotten to the point when a woman is required to jump to her feet the minute a male saunters into view, but gender stereotypes are still widely prevalent. Revealing that four out of 10 people across the EU still think a woman’s most important role is home and family, the European Commission has launched a campaign to combat gender stereotyping. 

Nearly 50%! Imagine that. Ah, now.

See, once it became the norm for women to go out to work and become financially independent, it ALSO very conveniently remained the norm for them to continue to be responsible for most of the domestic stuff as well.

Helena Dalli, EU Commissioner for Equality, warns that gender stereotypes have very considerable impacts on women and men, eg expectations around what a girl should or shouldn’t study or work at, or what kind of job a man should have.

Despite making up half of the European population - and, it must be said, suring male counterparts in university graduation across a diverse range of fields - women continue to be underrepresented in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (STEM) and in leadership positions. Ouch.

Still, things aren’t entirely dismal. Nearly seven in ten women in the EU are now engaged in full-time employment, in contrast to nearly eight in ten men. Ireland’s not too bad – we rank 7th in the EU on the Gender Inequality Index with a score of 74.3 out of 100. (Reaching a score of 100 would mean that a country had reached full equality between women and men.)

On the other hand, statistics show that seven in ten Irish respondents agree with the statement that women – who are beating men hands down in exams and getting the top jobs - are more likely than men to make decisions “based on their emotions”. Oh, really, guys? Like, testosterone-fuelled rage doesn’t have anything to do with the knife fights, the assaults, the silly provocations that result in people with fractured skulls or their ears torn off, sexual assaults, the crazy dangerous driving, the road rage? No?

Meanwhile, half of those questioned in this country suggested that a woman’s most important role is to take care of the home and family. 

Oh, bugger off, the lot of you. 

You want to pay these big new mortgages don’t you, and the electricity bills and the groceries and the car loans and all the rest of it? You want to eat and wear clean clothes and get the shopping and the hoovering done and have the occasional night out? How in this day and age people can complacently assume that this can be done when a women does not engage in outside paid employment or that highly educated, intelligent women are willingly to juggle very demanding paid work outside the home while managing the multiplicity of domestic chores inside inside the home? Get real, lads.

Can I share a Really Great Secret with you girls? I will shortly celebrate 40 years married to a lovely man. I have been in paid employment outside the home all our married lives, while almost solely managing the domestic and child-rearing end of things. Then a friend of mine told me The Secret: Don’t complain about all the things you have to do, girls. Don’t nag, argue, mutter or sulk. Don’t give in. Simply ask one simple, delicious question: “Dear one. Would you prefer to do this chore or that chore?” In other words, would you - the man of the house - prefer to hang out the clothes or hoover the kitchen floor? Would you prefer to make the dinner or wash up after it? The simple presumption that he is expected to contribute can prove very difficult for them to argue with. Try it ladies. It worked for me!