Ask not why Ireland should NATO, ask instead why the hell NATO would want us

IN an alternative universe on Thursday, NATO - and not the Irish government - launched a Consultative Forum on International Security at UCC.

This event was aimed at addressing the issue of whether NATO should accept an invitation from Ireland to its ranks.

Suddenly, in this parallel universe, the forum is interrupted by a phalanx of noisy pro-NATO protesters, chanting “We don’t want Ireland!” and “NATO says NO to Irish invitation!”

I know, it sounds comical, but hear me out.

Because IF an Irish government did face down the anti-NATO protests and ditched its long-standing commitment to neutrality.

And IF it put forward an invitation to NATO to its hip.

Why on earth would NATO want us?

What makes anyone think that the respected international organisation would not turn around and say: “Why, thanks, Ireland, but, er, no thanks.”

Has anyone thought of this potentially embarrassing scenario?

Or are we so caught up with our own lives on this little rock on the westernmost fringe of Europe that we fail to see how utterly pointless and useless we would be to an organisation which takes pride in defending the western world from evil.

NATO’s stated aim is to “promote democratic values and enable to consult and cooperate on defence and security-related issues”.

Ultimately, this can involve the use of military power.

So, ask yourself, what can Ireland actually contribute to these causes?

Here is what we can offer:

A downtrodden, poorly-motivated, woefully underpaid defence force which has been blighted by recent scandal - Ireland’s armed forces “barely tolerate women”, an independent report into bullying and sexual harassment has found.

Will NATO fancy adding that to their collective armoury?

And what about Irish military hardware?

Well, we currently need the UK to police our skies from hostile foreign forces - so I can’t see that impressing NATO too much.

As for our seas, well, we know that ships from a currently hostile foreign power - Russia - have made frequent visits to our waters in recent times, and our navy, lacking anything that might scare them off, has been ‘monitoring’ them.

Again, will this impress NATO enough to want us to their alliance?

Exactly.

So, when the Government-appointed Consultative Forum on International Security was disrupted at UCC this week by anti-NATO protesters, it did make me wonder if we are getting a little ahead of ourselves.

The forum has been set up to discuss a host of questions related to defence and security, many of which have become hugely important since Russia invaded Ukraine last year.

Many who cherish Ireland’s long-held idea of neutrality fear the forum is too military-weighted and will ultimately lead to Ireland seeking to NATO.

We know that our supposedly neutral President, Michael D. Higgins is among that band of people, since he came out and said so last week.

However, what the supreme commander of the Irish Defence Forces doesn’t seem to realise is that decades of under-funding and poor treatment of those very Defence Forces means we are hardly likely to appeal to NATO in the event of us applying.

But would NATO really knock back Ireland, if we overcame the domestic opposition and enlisted?

Well, we do seem to currently fail the acid test set out in the North Atlantic Treaty, that hip is open to any “European State in a position to further the principles of this Treaty and to contribute to the security of the North Atlantic area”.

At present, any Irish contribution to the security of the region would be negligible.

All countries d to NATO would also have to agree to accept the new member.

At the very least, there is a strong argument that if Ireland does apply, it will need to significantly increase its defence spend, in order to not look like it is piggybacking on NATO’s security muscle - the very argument many people here use to justify ing up in the first place.

If we did NATO, there would be a certain ring to it - as we would be the 32nd member: Ireland, which ultimately seeks to form a 32-county nation, entering a 32-state alliance to defend the world.

However, we are getting ahead of ourselves.

The neutrality gene is embedded in Irish minds and hearts, and polls consistently show voters want to retain it.

ing NATO would take a giant leap of faith by a sitting government. I can’t imagine this government grasping that nettle - and surely no Sinn Féin government would take that step.

For my own part, this notion of Irish neutrality seems to be another Irish solution to an Irish problem, riddled with inconsistency and even hypocrisy.

The country was (rightly) weighted towards Britain and her allies in World War II, and (rightly) is outraged by Russia’s invasion of Ukraine; neutrality is like being pregnant, you can’t be halfway there.

Our form of neutrality is merely a cosy flag of convenience we wrap around ourselves, while other countries and their citizens pay - in hard currency and sometimes even with body bags - for the peace we cherish so much.

I suspect the President and the protesters at UCC this week will get their way, and Ireland will not NATO in the foreseeable future. And I suspect NATO will believe we are no great loss to them.