Emer O'Callaghan: Here I am, stripped back, to show we all have insecurities 

Many who don’t know me will look at this and see these pictures and think, ‘Look at ya one, she’s weak for herself’.

And if you told 16-year-old Emer she would be in The Echo and on EchoLive, ie in her swimming togs (or bathenas as many in Cork still call them), she would have most certainly ran out of the room screaming ‘no way’.

That’s because in my teens, I, like so many women, really struggled with loving my body.

I was so driven to be slim and thin, and I over-exercised and under-ate, all to see an unrealistic number on a scales that was far too low for a 5ft 10in girl. But you can’t put an old head on young shoulders.

As many of my readers who have been reading my page for years know, I have never forgotten where I came from. Bishopstown is home and we were so lucky to have such gorgeous neighbours in Glencairn Park that I still love to meet and that read this weekly.

While everyone knew me from my fast-pacing power walk I did all over the town after school every day, I on many occasions some of our lovely neighbours stopping me to say, ‘Oh Emer, don’t get any thinner now, love’.

One time, a neighbour said to my mum: “Are any of ye gonna put a stop to that poor girl pounding the roads every day falling away to nothing?”

I share this as I know in my heart it will help others who also have these insecurities about their body, and because I know from being a beautician for over 23 years, working with women of all ages, that every woman has hang-ups about her body and/or weight.

My weight went up and down over the years, I know what it’s like to be too thin for my build and too heavy for it also, so I have huge empathy and comion when a client talks to me about feeling insecure about her body.

That said, I have never once got an insult from a man about my looks or body, but I have got plenty from women over the years, and what does that say about women? Some sisterhood there.

Even on the day I did these pictures, before my swim I looked back at them and could only see faults in my body. I wish I was flatter, firmer, more toned... every woman will know what I mean.

But I also knew I wanted to write this article, and I believe in walking the walk myself.

You see me every week glammed up and in fabulous dresses, with full make-up and a tan from my clinic, but here I’m just stripped back - no make-up, no hair done, no fancy dress to hide under - and I’m doing it to raise awareness that we all have our insecurities.

We live in an age of social media and filters, botox and fake everything, and I’m trying to show that we are beautiful, naturally as we are.

I’ve no cosmetic work done, I’m sure there are plenty looking at these pictures finding lots of areas they would like to improve about me, but the truth is I’m in my early forties now, and it’s taken me till now to be actually able to embrace my body.

I realise that my body, just like yours, is the most amazing thing we own. Our body is home to all our souls, our bodies protect us and keep us alive every day, and what do we women do? We moan and complain and give out, finding fault any opportunity we can, and worse again are often the ones who like to find fault with everyone else’s body too.

There was actually a time when our ancestors had no mirrors! Just a blurred reflection in water.

Then mirrors arrived, then photographs and videos, and now we have selfies. Our ancestors must be enjoying watching this generation because we now live in a world where people are constantly looking at themselves and constantly criticising and critiquing every part of their face and body, and then altering it.

The truth is, far too many today are overly focused on their looks and it’s affecting them mentally, physically and emotionally.

I truly believe it is very important that we all like ourselves, because regardless of where you go in life and what you do, you always have to bring yourself with you.

It doesn’t come naturally.

Even looking at my face in my full swimsuit picture here, you can see I’m not comfortable - no big beaming smile here, so why did I put it in The Echo? Because I’m a real woman, and the real women of Cork are too, and we are not seeing enough real women and their bodies in society today.

Instead, we are seeing enhanced, sucked in, altered, filtered, adjusted images that are not real.

Is it any wonder we women have so many insecurities about our bodies... and don’t get me started on AI.

I’m just like every other woman, I have lumps and bumps, but my 16- year-old self would be so proud of how far I have come, to even do these pictures, and for that I am very proud.

Experts say you should aim to become the woman your eight-year-old self would go too for advice, , and a hug, and I feel now I am that woman, and that is why I am so good at my job - women can relate to me because I am my real, authentic self.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and thats fine too, you can’t please them all, as they say! Tea is very common anyway, I prefer champagne myself.

******

It’s summer now and every day in Emerald Beauty Clinic, I have clients of all ages coming in to me wishing they were lighter and leaner or more summer-ready.

And you know what I say to my ladies who worry about wearing a swimsuit on the beach in Youghal? Sure, trust me, everyone is far too concerned with how they are looking themselves in their own togs to be too concerned with you!

Your family and friends want you happy, playing and swimming with them, and throwing yourself down under a towel is not what summer is about. So put on the togs, go for the swim, enjoy your life, because it’s only a short one we all get.

And God knows we don’t get enough fine weather in Cork to be beach babes all year long.

So instead embrace your summer goddess and be grateful you have a body.

God made us all so beautiful, and I am always promoting natural beauty.

Yes, the boobs are real, it’s my O’Callaghan gene - everything is big!

I was a fitness instructor and aerobics teacher before I was a beautician, and I know all of these can prey on our female insecurities.

A lot of marketing is done on the basis that women do not like their bodies or their faces, and that’s where we, the women, need to take back the power.

That means having confidence in our own bodies, and not criticising other women.

People can be so lovely. I recently wrote here about having my wisdom teeth removed and clients came in with scones, cakes, flowers and gifts for me, asking was I OK.

One of my brothers said he was in Dunnes shopping and a man he never met before stopped him to ask how is Emer now, after the wisdom teeth. “Nasty old job,” he said, “I read it on The Echo, boy” - and he had the paper under his arm. My brother said it was pure Cork and we both loved it.

It sums up how lovely so many in Cork are, we are such kind, thoughtful people - there is no place like it.

We are halfway through 2025, it’s June, and as we all enjoy our summer dresses and some sunshine, may we all also learn to enjoy our bodies too and embrace what we have.

They say do something today your older self will be proud of you for, and that, for me, is what these pictures represent, because I’ve come a long way to be able to do this.

I will still cringe when I see this today, but I also feel free of those insecurities that my teenage self had, and empowered that I can love my body and respect it. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it.

I feel it’s time for change and it’s time as women we stood up for ourselves and said, enough is enough, enough of the body shaming, the ageism, the self-loathing and constant criticising, the starving ourselves to be a certain weight or size, the constant dread of a weighing scales - we are so much more than a number.

We are the givers of life, we nurture, we love, we care for, we manage far too much, and we still do it all every day with a smile on our faces.

The good women will always try and help another sister out who is struggling or having a hard time.

Real women lift each other up, real women speak kindly of others, real women help, , and encourage because it’s that kind of positive sisterhood we all need today.

Fitting in and conforming to trends is not necessary, being unique is beautiful and we are all not meant to look the same, we are not cloned robots, we need to empower young girls to know we all have our flaws and no body is perfect, but that’s what being a woman is.

• Emer O’Callaghan is a multi-award winning Beauty Doctor and Skin Specialist who won Irish Beauty Therapist of the Year and works at Emerald Organic Beauty Products Ltd, trading as Emerald Beauty Clinic, 021 4365949, www.emeraldbeautyclinic.ie - follow us on Facebook/Instagram/TikTok.
• SPECIAL OFFER: All next week, our award-winning Anti Wrinkle Facial is reduced from €125 to €95, 90 minutes. Includes a full skin analysis, eyebrow shape and samples. Appointments necessary, to book call Emerald Beauty Clinic, 021 4365949. Free parking.