Cork woman: I'm doing mini marathon in memory of mum as thank you to Alzheimer's Society

Denise O’Connell gave 11 and a half years of her life to her parents who had health issues.

When her mother Julia May was diagnosed first with Parkinsons, then dementia, she lifted the phone to The Alzheimer Society.

“I found them to be a lifeline,” says Denise, from Ballyclough.

“They offered me such valuable and advice to help mam. The HSE provided some too which was great.”

During her life, Denise went the whole nine yards to her parents, moving from her teaching job in Ennis to Cork, where she job-shared at the North Pres for four and a half years whilst caring for her mother along with her siblings.

“I really enjoyed my time teaching at North Pres,” says Denise.

Now she is taking part in The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon in memory of her mother, who ed away on June 26, and to fundraise for The Alzheimer Society of Ireland.

“Last summer, when mam was no longer comfortable at home, her mobility was compromised, and I was job-sharing, mam agreed to go to St. Mary’s Day Care Centre in Mallow,” said Denise.

Being independent-minded, she was reluctant to go there at first, and then it became a source of joy to her when she went three days a week. 

"I employed a lady driver to take her there when I was working. And that also gave me a chance on my days off from work. Mam found St Mary’s a wonderful experience.”

Julia found something else at St Mary’s Day Care Centre.

“She found her singing voice!” says Denise.

“When she was young, she sang Irish ballads.”

What did Julia like to sing to entertain the staff and clients of St Mary’s?

“She sang My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean and I’ll Tell My Ma!” says Denise.

She was thrilled her ‘Ma’ was happy at St Mary’s.

“She could have gone there five days,” says Julia.

I said, look we’ll compromise, and you can go three days from 10am to 3pm. For €15 a day there was tea all day on tap, buns, cakes, and dinner.

St Mary’s Day Care Centre offered Julia and her fellow clients much more.

“There was dancing, old-time waltzes, live music from a wonderful Buttevant band, and bingo.”

Julia got a good send-off when she was going home at 3pm.

“There was often a packet of biscuits in the carrier of her walker when she won at bingo!”

Julia, a mother of six, loved to reminisce with her peers.

“She spoke about her childhood, her life. She told her life story working in the beet factory and Erin foods,” said Denise.

Julia had wheels from a young age.

“She went to work on her Vespa before she got her little car,” says Denise.

“Mam was always independent.

“In 1965, she nabbed dad! They met as teenagers and after a long courtship they got married.

“Mam helped dad out in his agricultural contractor business, doing his books. She had studied shorthand and typing.

“She also worked hard on the farm, which she loved.”

Julia loved other things.

“She loved her fashion!” says Denise. “She wore lovely outfits going to the day care centre. The staff used to say she looked like a Parisian! They would say ‘look at the Parisian!’ She wore a leopard print beret, and she had a baby pink one too which I wear occasionally now.

She would only buy the best and she always looked a million dollars. Ryans of Galway was her favourite shop.

Julia was a home-maker.

“We all loved her sago tapioca and rice pudding when we came from school. Our house in the village was an open house.”

Julia had other interests too.

“She was a member of the ICA. She cleaned the church, and she loved baking.”

Julia, a people person, got a great welcome at St Mary’s Day Care Centre.

“Everyone greeted her there with a welcome smile,” says Denise.

“St Mary’s is a vibrant happy place. My mother was valued there.”

Denise always valued her mother.

“I had great times with her. She meant so much to me. Even with dementia, she was always herself and she knew us all.

Mam was always full of gratitude and never complained. She took her position in her stride and with grace.

Now Denise is striding out to run The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon on September 22, in memory of Julia May and in gratitude to The Alzheimer Society of Ireland.

“I felt isolated looking after mam,” says Denise.

She always wanted the best of care for her mother.

“It was sometimes a huge burden. The Alzheimer’s Society gave me practical advice and told me there was visits to mam available. The I got for caring for a loved one with dementia was second to none.

“The Alzheimer’s Society pointed me in the direction of St Mary’s Day Care Centre, a dementia-specific day care centre.”

The centre was more than a lifeline to Denise. It offered a valuable quality of life to Julia May.

“Mam got to mix with others instead of staying at home,” says Denise.

“The social aspect for her was so important. At St Mary’s she could be herself. At the centre there were no reminders of medicine, there was no commode, there were no reminders of illness. Mam had a lovely time.”

Denise, who regularly takes part in park runs, will have a lovely time on the day of The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon.

“I’ve already got the tee shirt!” says Denise.

She always goes the whole nine yards.

“I’ve set up an idonate page. I’m delighted with myself!”

Denise was delighted with her late mother’s advice.

“It is your time now,” she said. “Have fun and enjoy your life.”

ABOUT ST MARY’S

St Mary’s Day Care Centre, Linehan’s Lane, Mallow, provides dementia-specific, person-centred care to meet the needs of the person with dementia in a warm, welcoming and safe environment while providing and stimulation.

Staff work with each person to ensure they feel comfortable and ed and their individual needs are met as far as possible.

The range of activities includes reminiscence therapy, music sessions, gentle exercises, arts and crafts and personal care.

Lena O’Sullivan: 085-8701456 Email:[email protected] National helpline: 1800- 341-341

HOW YOU CAN TAKE PART IN THE ECHO WOMEN’S MINI MARATHON

Registration is open for The Echo Women’s Mini Marathon. Now in its 43rd year, the event is hosted by Cork Athletics. It raises about €1.5m for charities each year.

The 5km event will take place on September 22 at 1pm. The race starts on Kennedy Quay and finishes in Kennedy Park.

Keep an eye on the Mini Marathon Facebook page and website in the coming weeks for updates.

Participants can at /minimarathon

Nourish are the training partner. Brenda Dennehy is the brand ambassador.