Cork bride: Wedding was a dream come true after traumatic time

IN her darkest days suffering from Alopecia, which at its worst saw her lose over 80% of her hair, Cork woman Chloe Sheehan feared she would never walk down the aisle and get married. But that’s exactly what she did last month, when she said ‘I do’ to her partner of eight years, Declan Dinneen, who has been by her side throughout the entire ordeal.

It was a dream come true for Chloe from Donoughmore who has openly shared her traumatic hair loss journey on her Instagram page, ChloesHairAffair (12.4K followers).

Against the odds, she has had 85% regrowth, but just a few short years ago she genuinely thought she’d never feel like herself or be able to leave her house again.

Horrifyingly the 30-year-old found two small bald patches around 10 days before her wedding, which not surprisingly caused her to panic.

“They seem ok now they haven’t gotten worse or spread. I can only do my part in trying to control my Alopecia, after that it’s up to my body,” she said matter-of-factly.

Her nightmare started in February 2017 when she was getting her highlights done and her hairdresser noticed a small round patch, around the size of a 5 cent coin or smaller, on the nape of her neck.

“I thought it could have been a dry patch but I went to my GP for full blood work anyway. She then referred me onto a dermatologist. Everything in life was going great at the time, I was always a positive person and I had never been happier but some ongoing medical tests and procedures really knocked me back and while I was living in this happy bubble I believe my body was under a lot of stress and I was refusing to listen to it.

“My hair began to fall in patches as the tests continued but I was always able to hide it and pretend this wasn’t happening to me. I was in complete and utter denial but luckily by September it had all grown back,” said Chloe.

But that November the hair loss returned, and this time it was much worse.

“Having massive clumps of hair fall out at such a rapid pace felt nauseating and I felt I had totally lost control.

I was so afraid to fall asleep at night because of how much hair would be on my pillow in the morning. 

"Even the space of five or six hours could change my appearance drastically. By Christmas I was trying on wigs something I never thought would happen but I knew I had to be brave and face it as by now I had lost over 80% of my hair in less than a month and it was only getting worse.”

The former dental nurse, who now works in procurement in Dornan Engineering, bought her first wig in January 2018.

“This was very difficult. I would look in the mirror at my balding head and I could no longer see myself. But I would put my wig on and couldn’t see myself either. The worst part about wearing a wig is the stares … people would sometimes (not often) stare and I could see them wondering if I was sick. I would try everything but I couldn’t find my identity so I resorted to not looking in the mirror and not going to work or leaving the house for over a month. 

I thought I would never be able to recover or feel like me ever again.

She struggled with some dark days.

“On the worst of them I thinking that I would never get married or have a baby. I couldn’t possibly see myself being happy enough to get married or having to explain to a midwife why I needed to wear a headscarf in the labour ward. These sound like very silly things but they were very real to me,” she said.

Chloe honestly its it was hard to cope at times: “I thought I would have been much stronger in the situation when in reality I was a shell of the girl I once was. I got very depressed I am still surprised at how much I suffered and how much it consumed me but I could not snap myself out of it. I started suffering from insomnia due to the fear of falling asleep and losing more hair so I was functioning on very few hours rest but when I would wake I would feel fine only for reality to kick in a few minutes later and the tears to start. 

It was a very lonely place for me. 

"My system was phenomenal but I couldn’t confide in them as my hair loss hurt them just as much as it did me and I wanted to protect those I loved.

“I attended a few different counsellors until I found an amazing one in Jennifer O’Mullane. She never had hair loss nor did she know anyone but I felt she really understood me and she helped me through some of my darkest days. Now I always encourage people to try different counsellors before deciding ‘it’s not for me’.”

Her now husband Declan was also her rock. They were a couple for about a year and a half before her Alopecia began.

“We were 23 when all this started and should have been out clubbing every weekend with not a care in the world but instead we were faced with a horrible situation. I don’t know how Declan did it.

It’s one thing to go through severe long term hair loss but to watch someone you love go through it physically and mentally is very difficult. 

"But no matter how dark some days got he would wipe my tears and we would still have a giggle,” said Chloe.

She knows from people ing her on Instagram, that relationships present some of the biggest challenges for people.

“They worry when meeting someone new, when should they tell them and how they’ll take it? What’s going to happen the first time in the bedroom when they have to take their wig off etc? I can only imagine the fear but I can relate to some of it and it’s not easy,” she said.

Chloe and Declan got married on June 16, at Saint Lactheens Church Donoughmore, and had their reception in the Dunloe House and Gardens. They’re currently building a home in Declan’s native Cloyne.

Chloe unusually but luckily has had 85% regrowth even though all the odds were stacked against her, but she still struggles with the trauma of the problem returning.

“A normal person loses about 150 hairs a day. I could see two hairs on the sink or the hair brush and it’s a massive trigger for me even though naturally shedding is normal! It’s unfortunately programmed into me so deep at this point.”

Now, Chloe works hard to be an an advocate to help others with the condition.

The shame, guilt, sadness, depression and especially the unknown is extremely traumatic and I wouldn’t have thought it would be until I went through it myself. It’s also a very lonely place to be with very, very little and knowledge out there. 

"This is why I started my Instagram page.”

Her advice to anyone suffering from the condition is to ‘reach out.’

“There’s a great community out there in the shadows. Never feel alone and know that your feelings are very valid,” she said.

But she feels that more needs to be done to people on their journeys.

“I try so hard to spread awareness but I’m just one small Instagram page. We need to get the conversations going. I go into schools and speak about my journey and the amount of kids and parents that tell me after they have Alopecia is astonishing, it’s literally everywhere, but it’s just well hidden. These people just want a normal life.

“Alopecia stopped me from doing so much in life and that shouldn’t be the case. Now I’m happier than I ever dreamed I could be, and I want others to know they can be too.”

See @ChloesHairAffair